Be your best self

One of the best things about running is that you can see improvement in yourself without comparing yourself to others. Even if you are not winning races, you can feel success just by improving your own best times.  In fact, you are I likely to meet more problems than success when you start comparing yourself to others.  

Let me explain.  

I had a coach in college who told me I needed to lose weight.  There I was, in the best shape of my life,  and I was told I needed to get leaner to run really fast.  All-Americans, of which he had coached a lot, were very lean and strong and I needed to look more like them.  I really trusted the coach, knew he knew about coaching distance runners, and I wanted to be faster, so I tried to limit my calorie intake for a time.  Instead of getting faster, I just found that I was too tired to run well.  Go figure.  

At this point I decided that if I was fat, I would just have to be the fastest fat kid out there.  I could not worry about becoming someone else, even if that meant never becoming All-American.  It was a very liberating idea.  I no longer had to worry about becoming someone else, I just had to become the fastest version of myself I could be.  Could I have lost a few pounds and run better?  Probably.  Was it worth starving myself to become something I wasn't? Probably not.  

Even now, I occasionally am tempted to compare myself to someone else, forgetting how well I am doing for myself and become disappointed I am not reaching someone else's standard of excellence.  I am much happier if I recognize that I am doing the best with what I have and don't worry about what anyone else is doing.  Stop worrying about how you measure up to anyone else.  Just do your best, enjoy running, and be the fastest fat kid you can be.  

What to do on Saturday...

I am done with my marathon now, and find I have time in my life again. I have been looking forward to this for six months because of all the things I could do without having to go for those long runs every week.  I even compiled a list of things that I could be doing with my time if I wasn't running around town for two to three hours every Saturday.  This was the start of my list:

I could sleep in.  A long time.

I could make, eat, and clean up breakfast and be halfway to lunch.

I could do my grocery shopping.

I could read a good book.

I could watch a whole movie, complete with bonus features. 

I could clean my whole house, top to bottom. 

But I couldn't think of more than two or three things that actually sounds like a better idea than the run. And now that I actually have the time to do these things, all I want to do is go out for a run. I think I must be missing something.  What exactly is it that normal people do on Saturday morning?  I am open to suggestions.  Maybe there really is something better out there that I am missing. It is interesting to think of the possibilities in case I ever retire. But for now, I guess there isn't much I could do that is better than my Saturday morning run.  See you out there.

Another Marathon

So I have done it again.  Another marathon.  I swore I would never do another.  It was still 26.2 miles.  Still 3 hours of running. Still painful. And it was amazing.  I think I need to apologize to marathoners everywhere because I have spent years moaning about the marathon and complaining about how it isn't a good race to run. Too time consuming, too hard, too long, not good for the body, and on and on and on.  

And all of that is still true.  But I am beginning to get it a bit. To run for three (or more) hours on the edge of one's ability and push limits back is to truly accomplish something. I can run a 5k and feel good about what I have done.  But after finishing a marathon I feel primarily exhausted, followed closely by exhilarated, unconquerable, and strong.

I owe a lot of this to my sister.  She wanted to attempt a sub three hour marathon, which is 6:52 per mile pace or faster.  That is fast.  I didn't think I would be able to run that fast, but I am a little competitive and so figured if she could try it, I better give it a go as well.  I trained hard and had some good tune up races, but still entered the race with a lot of questions.  Before the race, and even at points during it, I questioned whether or not I should try for the 3 hour mark.  It would be much easier to just relax and run without pushing the pace. I remember clearly a decision point; I realized I had to risk to receive the reward. If I just ran safely and comfortably, I would never know what I can do. Without risk there would be no accomplishment.

I ran for it.  The first hour I felt great.  The middle was steady work.  The last hour I started to hurt.  The last three miles took willpower to keep moving at all as my quads  felt like someone had been kicking them for the previous two hours.  And I realized that the hardest parts of the races are where we prove ourselves.  I needed to prove to myself that the training is all worth it.  That I can do hard things.  That the most rewarding things often require a sacrifice of time, effort, and comfort to attain.  

I crossed the line in 3 hours, one minute and 30 seconds.  To some it would appear that I felt short of my goal and that I might be disappointed.  On the contrary, however, I am still amazed at what I was able to accomplish.  I set a new pr by seven and a half minutes.  I ran about 4 minutes faster than I thought I could.  I ran an average of 6:55 pace for 3 hours, and I am even starting to believe that I could go a tiny bit faster. Sometimes what appears to be failure is really a great achievement or a jumping off point for the next goal. 

So although I haven't been able to climb stairs all week, and even sitting down and standing up was a major effort for a day or two, it was only two days before I started talking about the next one.  Because I think I'm starting to get it.  I am grateful for the chance to find the superwoman in me that is only found at the end of 26 miles. 

In the bigger picture, this is exactly why the Lord gives us trials too. He knows that we need to see the strong people we stand to become. We can't always recognize our own strength when we are standing safely on the starting line, or well within our own comfort zones.  As we experience the pains and discomforts of life, we work, we endure, and we are stronger for it. It doesn't feel good all the time, but at the end we can stand back and appreciate the growth we experienced along the way.  Fortunately there are plenty of people to help pace us, encourage us, and even challenge us to be better than we think we can be. 

So while I don't want pain, or trials, or marathons, if that is what it takes for me to become better,  I say bring it on.  And watch out world, because if it's me and the Lord in this together, anything is possible.