I am afraid of getting old, and as long as I can keep running and getting faster, I must not be old yet. This is partly why I keep moving up in distances and trying new races, because every new distance is a PR and PR= not old.
I also have this fear that people will recognize that I am not as fast as I pretend to be, that someone will identify me as the imposter I am. I'm sure any day now someone will point and say "What is she doing here? She's not really fast, she just wants to be."
So I work hard to keep age at a distance and to try and fit in with the really fast runners, even though no one really cares how I run but me. No one ever said the psychology of running made sense, but there it is.
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