Superhero

I think I figured out the secret behind the superhero super powers.  I'll let you in on it: the secret is in the spandex. I've discovered this little known tidbit while running (of course).  There is some transformative power in spandex. The second it goes on,  I transform from middle age mother of four housewife into Runner-girl, cousin of Wonder Woman. I am suddenly able to flex my muscle-laden legs and outrun deer or climb hills and conquer track repeats with the grace of the goddess Nike. While the spandex is on, I am tough, strong, and yes, attractive.  I take on the world, and I am restoring peace and order to my world through that hour a day I spend running, much as the comic book superheroes.  I return (eventually), ready to resume my ordinary life and non-spandexed identity.  It makes sense.

I'm working on a theory about the mask too.  You know how they always wear a mask (and Clark Kent has his glasses)? The world never recognizes them.   My theory is that while people can actually recognize them, the bystanders recognize that the superhero is fullfilling a higher purpose, and therefore not to be disturbed.  The hero, meanwhile, feels protected from the world.  See, because I run in sunglasses, I believe that I am somehow hidden from all the people I pass.  I observe them without being seen.  I get to fight the Evil Enemy Flab and his cohort Old Age in peace as bystanders simply shake their heads in admiration. 

Every once in a while someone will tell me they saw me out running.  I smile and nod, but don't let them know that they actually saw my alter-ego, Runner Girl.  I have returned to my ordinary life, and am now merely a mom that would never be caught sweating in public. 

But the spandex and sunglasses are never far away.