5 Things Not to Mention Around non-runners

Let's face it.  Runners have a unique vocabulary and unique set of issues.  My husband is a runner and an athletic trainer, and so sometimes get asked to dispense medical advice in social situations.  This doesn't bother him in the least. The other day at a party he was describing the proper way to lance and ooze blood blisters to a concerned parent, all while munching on appetizers.  This was perfectly normal.  However, he failed to notice that nearby friends had their faces frozen in horror.  I guess not everyone can stomach blood blisters with their brownies. 

So all this to say, that while it may be socially acceptable to talk about your bowel habits while waiting in line for the port-a-john at a marathon, it shouldn't make the cut for polite conversation. Perhaps not everyone is as interested as the runners in the group.  In order to help make the transition from running into sedentary society easier, here are some other taboo topics not to be discussed away from the  race course. (Although any of them are fair game with a group of fellow runners, so don't be shocked!)
If you want to blend in with non-runners, don't:

1. Mention your latest chafing issues with great detail on where it occurred and how much pain was involved.
2. Describe proper techniques for mid stride nose-blowing or spitting, and what happens when you miss.
3. Say anything about fartleks.
4. Describe exactly where they place the thermometer when you were checked for heat illness (though I'm told that if you are actually being checked for heat illness, you don't care where they stick it anyway)
5. Explain which flavors of clif bars give you gas.

If you find yourself at a loss for what to say when we remove these topics from the table, stick to safe topics like the weather or your favorite foods.  And if you still have nothing to talk about, find new friends.  Happy running!