The Runner Card

You may have heard of the "man-card".  It is a fictional card given to men who perform very masculine tasks like eating meat and lifting heavy things, and revoked when doing decidedly un-masculine things, like holding a purse, or getting pedicures.  So I was thinking that we out to have a similar thing for runners, a "runner card", if you will.  You would earn your card for positive running exploits, and lose cards for behavior unbecoming of runners.  

For example, you would earn the runner card for running regularly, with extra points  You could earn bonus points for vertical miles, or running in weather below 15 and above 90.  For each age group you advance through, you get a bonus card, as do women for each child to whom they give birth.  Parents earn cards for running after being up in the night with a child, and anyone who scores a Boston Qualifying time gets a card.  Speed workouts and long runs earn cards too.  

Now on the down side, you could lose your runner card points by spitting on yourself when running (as I admit to doing today; disgusting, by the way). You would also lose points by running in a tutu, barfing on your shoes, and being the B.O. guy.  You would lose a card for sleeping in and taking days off.  You also lose points for calling anything less than 26 miles a marathon.  Anyone who hogs the post race goodies or runs a race as a bandit loses two cards.  

The runner card would be a badge of honor, a way for runners to show their stuff. Maybe you could collect multiple cards for everything you do that is running-cool, and then when you have enough, you get into special races, or get to go directly to the front of the portapotty line.  You could trade in runner cards for extra bananas or an extra post race massage.  I don't want to be exclusionary, so there would be way more reasons to earn than to lose.  Do something awesome to earn your runner card today.